Expectations...

Expectations play a huge part in our life. Many times we do something coz it is expected of us, or do something for someone coz we expect something in return. Or maybe it is the bonds between us that lead to the expectation, like expecting our parents to forgive our faults or expecting a loved one to react in a certain way. And when they do not react in the expected manner, we are upset. Why?

It could be that they are refusing to accept the unwritten rule of "i do something for you, then you do something for me, and we're square". Maybe they do not have the sensitivity to appreciate what a fine rule that is , and how it balances the world. It could be that they simply are not aware of our expectations. How many times have we heard "If I'd known you felt that way, I would have/wouldn't have done that". In that case, (assuming their truthfullness), we have the responsibility to convey our emotions to them. For it is too much to assume that all of us are mind readers and intuitively understand each other. It could also be that they're tired of living upto our expectations. For expectations are a heavy burden to carry.

I was told yesterday by a friend that I did not do the expected thing. It was a trivial phone call, which I had planned to do. But sometimes the one-sidedness of expectations is disappointing. Maybe I should have explained why my fingers almost reached the dial and went back. But this is a friendship which goes back a whole year. A lot of giving, and sharing has taken place. My desire to be honest is stopped only by my desire not to hurt the friendship. Maybe I should stop expecting and not let my actions be dictated by my expectations. Maybe I should just give instead of expecting something in return. But is it such a bad thing to give love and expect it back? I'm not asking for a phone call in return. But surely an email or an SMS would do. Anthing to let me know I'm loved. And u bet I will reciprocate. Coz there's nothing I like better than sharing the love.

I concluded that "Expectations are the root cause of all misery". Keep no expectations from anyone and you will never feel let down. Well... life goes on..

Happy B’day to me!!!

My birthday is around the corner. In fact my birthday is tomorrow.
Every now and then I am faced with people before whom, i don’t want to make a din about my birthday!

There’s a mothers day, there’s a fathers day, and the nation has a holiday on Gandhiji's birthday. So what happens on my birthday? Nothing. Worse I have to keep mum about it, so as to keep away pesky characters!!! Phew… life, I must tell you…

This is one day which has me written all over it. Even if I have to share this day with lots of people across the world, have people who I don’t like, born on days ahead of and after mine, I would like to be wished by my friends and family. I want to be happy about the fact that I have managed to live 22 years on this earth and survive inspite of the innumerable obstacles. I want to celebrate just being myself.

Every birthday to me is like a milestone... milestone of me living my life… milestones that I have crossed with the help of my family and friends. It’s the end of one chapter and start of a new one in the book that I have chosen to write-MY LIFE. It’s a stop and check and go for me to renew myself every once in a while.

I cherish every phone call I get. I cherish every gift that I receive. I value the people who stay up till 12 just to wish me. I am happy when friends fret over the fact they will not get through to me at 12 as they are somehow sure that my phone would be busy.It makes me that much happy to know that in this world there are a few souls who love me for what I am.
So here’s to myself...Happy Birthday!!!!!

Psst…Psst: Guess what? The whole nation is celebrating my b’day tomorrow.. Don’t rack your brains… its just bcoz tomorrow is Mother’s Day..
Happy Mother’s Day ma… mmuuaaaahhh :-*

Pehla Kadam... My first step

If the ethereal world of blogging was to be compared to some place on earth, it would probably be Mumbai or Frankfurt or some other big city where there are umpteen feet, big & small ones, funny looking ones, teeny tiny ones…. And today I land in this mess of feet. There is constant activity all around and I am standing on the tangents. I gingerly put my feet in…whoosh…!! The feeling is amazing. It seems like a new start - can almost smell the freshness of a brand new blog; the virgin background, the dark ink, and the thoughts flowing freely without any barriers...

Hmmm... so what should I write about? Should I describe my pillar of strength and sense of identity – my mom? Or should I talk about the unconditional support and encouragement that my friends provide me time and again? Or perhaps I should pen down the chronicles coming straight from the hallowed portals of my college and the various educational institutes which have given me and still continue to give me so much, not only in terms of academics; but in terms of memories which I’ll always carry with me wherever I go.

But I guess, a topic that has always remained closest to my heart is friendships!... After having so many friends, and few of them so close all my life, I have asked myself a million times how the hell am I going to maintain my commitment to their friendships after I marry and if I can't, then is there any sense in investing so much of my feelings, emotions, time and energy in nurturing these very relationships which I may have to uproot in a few years. And every time I've asked this, something in me tells me just one thing - enjoy this moment - this moment is your life! It really doesn't matter whether we'll be able to be friends forever, whether we'll be always able to share moments, thoughts and problems with as much comfort and ease; so long as we are together now. And that is what friendship is about na - it transcends all boundaries of age and time. It just avows the fact that whatever be the distances between us, whatever be our compulsions, our obligations, our helplessnesses, we'd be there for each other. Friendships give tremendous strength and I guess thats reason enough to give it one's all. What I've shared with my buddies is truly wonderful. I really don’t think I can define my relationship with my buddies or give it a name…its much beyond friendship… its this quiet confidence and trust that we share…this comfort zone that we have where we can actually discuss anything.. this small voice in our hearts which keeps reminding us that no matter where we go, who we are with, what we do… anytime and anyplace, we always have each other. These are guys who have helped me live my life, who have shown me how wonderful life can be and have strongly reinforced my faith in the goodness of friendship!!!

All I can say is: Somewhere Someone must be very happy with me to have given me such AWESOME friends!!!!!!!!!!!!! So here’s to all my friends… cheers… and here’s to my first ever blog… cheers again!!! :)