Eternal Questions on a Sleepless Night

Choices have daunted men for quite a long time. Even Hamlet had to choose "To be or not to be" and Frost had to choose between the two roads that diverged in a wood. I have always wondered if life would be simpler if each person brought into this world was born with a to-do list, kind of like instructing the person which path to take in life.

--You will be too advanced for kinder garden, jump to primary.
--Pick maths with biology, study computers on the side.
--You have to write GRE / GMAT.
--Marry the second guy/girl you see, have kids after 3 years, run around kids, be chased by wife/husband for the rest of your life.

Parents do take care of most of these things these days. I mean with the pressure that the kid is put through to take medicine or engineering is insane, but then they successfully manage to eliminate the bothersome job of choosing what to study.

Even with marriage and kids, I've honestly seen parents discussing and eliminating scores of girls and boys amongst themselves while the prospective victim to be is sleeping thousands of miles away. They even instruct the bride to have kids soon and then take a job, so the grandparents can take care of the kid. I mean, could life get any simpler???

I guess I am an anomaly amongst the many hundreds who take this path. I fought back for the first time in my life to take up child psychology during graduation, when it seemed as if becoming a doctor or an engineer was the fashion of the era. It’s a different story that I was finally forced to take up engineering!!! Then I went one step further and announced that I wished to do an MBA and that too in India, when the entire family was busy sending their kids abroad for MS, PHD and what not. OH MY GOODNESS… the reactions from the relatives were a little too melodramatic… I virtually ceased to exist for a few weeks. People thought I was in there just to rebel. I would talk and whatever came out of my mouth, disappeared into a vacuum. There were quite a few incidents between then and now, which made me feel as if I was doing a huge crime.

But then I just realized something, I was not making a mistake; I was just following my dream. We have a seemingly limitless number of choices before us, but shaped by our background and community we often make a choice, to please people and assume that that is what we want to, only to end up miserable in our forties and blaming our parents for our childhood.

My mother is an amazing woman who supported me, even when she disagreed with my choices, and I have made quite a few absurd ones. I am sometimes scared of making choices for the simple reason that I do not know where I would end up and if I would regret the choice I made. I wonder if I should have just studied child psychology and wonder where I would be now if I had done so. But then I stop and breathe. Past cannot be undone. I love the life I am living now, I am making choices which are often considered wierd, but there is this whole unknown in front of me, that makes it exciting, I am raring to go and unearth my life.

I know for sure that I am not going to be in front of a circuit board or over an operating table all my life. I am also excited to be an anomaly. It is the anomalies who make history. You never hear about a person who studied biology, went to study medicine and become a doctor. You hear about the person who studied medicine and became an archaeologist instead. That is fun. It makes for an interesting, intelligent person, with a focused yet diversified mind. I just have to keep in mind that whatever choice I make I should not look back and regret. I have to make history and make my autobiography more interesting.

My autobiography???? There is still time for that… the plot is after all becoming more and more interesting day by day…

The name of my autobiography???... “ Steaming Cups of Coffee”… :o)

Can I???

Can I be a poem?? Can I feel like one? One that sounds beautiful? Can I write one??
Can I just bask in the sun on a cold yet warm day, waiting for winters onset and just be happy?
Can I just read all I want to read?
Can I just be the music I love to hear?
Can I make a movie that I would love?
Can I just jump out of my skin and watch me live for a day and still not be me?
Can I just be known as me?
Can I not ever be associated with just one state of mind or being?
Can I ask for more with life?
Do I want an encore with my past?
Can I ask time to go a little slow on me?
Cant I just dream and not fear about it?
Can I dream of abolishing distance?
Can I just smile and not have a reason for it?
Can I learn every language that is beautiful?
Can I just be simple and uncomplicated?
Can I avoid the pretentiousness around me?
Can I welcome a Monday as much as I relish a Saturday?
Can I use the word freedom and still feel it?
Can I just find a fireplace to warm my slippers? And some hot chocolate and french fries!
Can I never ever worry about money? I often dream of a currency less world...
Can I dance?
Can I just feel the goodness around me?
Can I feel protected by my beliefs?
Can I just hang on to a few precious moments for just a while longer?
Can I have an opinion?
Can I just be me?

The Measure of Success

How do you measure Success?

Do you look at people who are considered successful and see how you measure up against them?

Or do you set your own standards and see how you measure up against yourself?

Or do you let someone else decide for you? Let some stranger tell you if you are successful, or will be successful...ever!!!

“Don't ever let someone tell you, you can't do something. You got a dream, you gotta protect it. People can't do something themselves, so they wanna tell you that you can't do it. You want something? Go get it. Period."…. From: The Pursuit of Happiness

I Wish...

In the past few days since I have returned to the campus, I have found myself thinking almost several times in a day, I wish....

As a child my ma taught me to be sincere. She laid endless stress on being truthful. I wish she had laid a little less stress on that. I wish someone had told me that it was okie to lie a bit. I wish someone had taught me to lie straight faced...

I was taught to be straight forward. I was taught to be ethical. I wish I hadn’t taken her so seriously. I think that I am a bit too ethical and straightforward for my own good. I wish someone had taught me to be diplomatic; coz the world is full of diplomats...

At home, there was always the stress on what others thought about us. I wish I didn’t take others as seriously as I do. I’m learning...

I wish my education had included child psychology as a major. I wish I could take up pilot training...

I wish I didn’t wear my emotions on my face as often as I do. I wish my eyes could wear a mask and not give out my feelings like they often do...

I am jinxed. So jinxed that whenever I plan something, it never works. I wish I could endlessly plan and not be worried about whether my plans will work or not. I only wish I could realize the joy of seeing my dreams in real...

I wish I could dance better. I really do. I wish I could sing in tune...

I wish I could stare at the sun. I wish I could count the stars...

I wish I could walk in a straight line...

I really really wish I could be as expressive vocally as I am when I write...

I wish I didn’t feel so bad when I realize life is moving at a pace faster than I am. I wish my heart doesn’t break when a dream breaks...

I wish I could just close my eyes tight and pray enough for my wishes to be granted...

I just wish.......